It's Time...Again

The last day of summer has finally come...and gone. I have been putting off thinking about today all summer, because the thought of bringing Dayton back to daycare and starting the hectic school year again is just too much. I'm not so great with emotions, so it's hard for me to put into words what I'm feeling. I don't know if I quite know how I'm feeling, other than sad.

I do feel incredibly thankful that my job allows me to spend 13 weeks at home (paid) with my little. I know, I am incredibly lucky that I have the summers off. But those weeks in the summer just don't quite cut it for me. I'm really selfish. Truth be told, I wish I was a stay at home mama (SAHM).

I'm telling you, I'm really really selfish. I want to raise my baby. I want to listen to him talking to himself when he wakes up in the morning. I want to feed him the breakfast that I prepare. I want to take him places and build memories and experiences with him. I want to watch him grow right in front of me. I want all his cuddles, hugs, and kisses throughout the day. I want to teach him how to say please, thank you, and your welcome. I want to feed him naps, read him books, and put him down for naps. I want to hear every giggle that comes out of his mouth. I want to hug away his tears. I want to respond to his temper tantrums. I want to discipline him our way. I want to see every single smile that graces his precious little face. You see, I'm selfish. I want to spend every second of every day with my kid while he's still a kid.

But, the day is here and it's the night before I return to work. I wanted to make sure today was extra special for both Dayton and I. So, we had a Dayton and mama all day date. I put all of my energy into spending every second of today with my little man.

This morning we made pancakes for breakfast. Then we played with toys and read books. After we got ready, we headed to the Children's museum where we played, danced, and played forms a peek-a-boo in every nook and cranny that we could. Then it was time for lunch. We headed to Panera and even got a giant cookie for after we ate. Then it was nap time. Little man was so tired, he fell asleep in the car. I carried him in and I just cuddled him. I finally laid him down and got my last bit of work in. I should have taken a nap or read a book or just watched TV, but I didn't. Silly me worked. After nap time, we ran a few quick errands and then it was back home to play downstairs in the playroom. When dada got home, we cooked dinner, spent some quality family time together, and then started our bed time routine. Little man was all giggles and smiles. He melts. my. heart.

Hopefully tomorrow won't be too hard, but I'm sure I will bawl after I drop him off. At least when I show up at work every other mama in the building will understand my ugly cry, red eyed, swollen lids face. Goodbye summer 2015! You've been the best yet!